Sivilay "Bruce" Sengkeophainh

November 8, 2010.

 

At 11:47pm your first Grandchild was born. A very beautiful baby boy.

 

Jayden was welcomed into the world weighing 7lbs 4ozs and 20 inches long.

 

He looks like you. As all of the kids do.

 

This should have been a day for you to enjoy, but it is a day to reflect on all the good times we had together.

 

We still Love and miss you so much.

August 5, 2010

 

Today makes 5 years. Wow where have the years gone ? It seems like yesterday, we were sitting on the couch talking for the very last time. I remember every word of that conversation.  I remember so much about you. There are things that will fade some day, but I will always remember your smile and your silly laugh. those were the best things in life.

 

I love you Bruce ! I still miss you !

Another Birthday has come and you are not here to celebrate with us. You are always in my mind and my heart. It seems the time has gone by very quickly since the time you have passed.

I miss you so much.

I Love You.    Jo

October 8, 2009

i can remember coming in the house when i first started highschool... when we lived on coe... id wake up and dad would either be asleep waitin on me to get up or he would be sittin there smokin a ciggarette watchin 6 am cartoons...

 

we wouldnt talk too much that eairly in the morning but we would sit together and welcome a new day into our lives together...

 

i really miss that...

 

but at the time i felt so safe and so care free like if i needed anything he was always there. i felt so grown then...

 

i laugh about it now...

 

how grown i thought i was...

 

all that potential i had...

 

all my hopes...

 

all my dreams...

 

now that i have the chance to sit back and look at my whole life... i can see that life is not fair...

 

life is a bitch...

 

 but what dad taught me was no matter how bad life beats u up and throws you down always get up and make the best of everything...

 

life is too short to dwell on the past and to live to far into the future... tomorrow is never promised today...

 

live in the moment and make it the best damn moment uve ever had...

 

i know he is watching over me. i know ive done some things he wouldnt be proud of and hell im not either... but i know he still loves me and every time i smile a true real ginuine smile i feel like a piece of him has fallen from heaven and landed in my heart...

 

i love u dad...

 

ill see u when i get there

 

ur son, Brandon....

Thanksgiving Day has never been the same in the past 3 years.

I always find myself thinking about what might have been everytime a special occassion comes around.

I will never understand why things happen the way they have, but will never regret anytime that we had together.

I only regret that you did not have more time with your kids and the same for them also. I feel so bad that they did not have more time with you.

It has been a long road to travel in the last 3 years, but I have done it, everyday thinking of you and remembering all the times we shared together.

 

I only wish you were still here. I don't think you deserved to die. I don't think your children deserved to go thru life with so many unanswered questions of why it had to happen this way.

 

You are truely missed everyday Bruce.  There is not much time that goes by, that I will run into someone we knew, and they did not know you were gone. And it is a total shock to them and they look at me and the kids with so much concern, and hurt in their eyes. Everyone that knew you knew this should not have happened.

To everything there is a season,
And a time to every purpose under the heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck
that which is planted;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and time of peace.

Life is eternal; and love is immortal;
And death is only a horizon;
And a horizon is nothing
Save the limit of our sight.

To everything there is a season,
And a time to every purpose under the heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck
that which is planted;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to get, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to love, and a time to hate;
A time of war, and time of peace.

If you were here we would have been together for 19 years.

What a sad day todays is for me, just knowing that you are not here to celebrate with me.

I still Love You and Miss You, just as much as I ever have.

hey unc we miss u so much i wish u was here to help jo jo with her house its looking good and jo jo is doing good to but i know she thinks about u ever min of the day and i know shes hurting insaid but if i lose somebody i loved as much as jo jo loves u i whould hurt all the time but ya i got me a house now for me and my babbys u and papaw and uncle mike and my dad helped me get the house i think u for that evey day now iam working on a job i hope i get somthing soon so i can pay my rent but i know u guys will help me well unc i love u and miss u all ya i waz at southgates bar when the game waz palying and i saw some of ur old frinds trying to play pool lol if u was here i know u whould kick there ass and take there money lol ya shane come in from southgates bar 2 or 3 nigths ago and was telling me and jodi how he kicked some ass in pool and he win a $ 100 in playing pool he waz so happy i have not saw shane that happy in a long time u can tell he miss palying pool men i love u and miss u R.I.P uncle bruce.

January 18, 2008

 

18 years ago today, your 1st and oldest son, was born. You should be here to celebrate this day with your son. This is a time when he needs you more than any other time in the world. He is not yet a man, but not still a boy. He needs the guidance from his father that I can not give to him.

He misses you so much, and still has not totally delt with the loss of you being gone. We wish you were here with us.

We Love You Bruce!!!!

STILL MISS YOU

 

 

Lord, Please hold on tightly, to my loved one that I lost, The nights are cold and lonely, like the freezing from a frost, I close my eyes at night, hoping sleep will over come.....Hoping that by morning, my body won't feel numb.

Oh, God, how hard it is at times, even after all these years, The pain just never goes away...nor do all the tears. I can't seem to focus, on the things I know I must, for I still see the face, of the one I love and trust.

The holidays are rough, Dear God, even though I try my best, But I can't seem to forget the day, I laid my love to rest. I read a book, I watch t.v., I try to write a letter, Hoping and praying, each day will soon get better.

Thanksgiving soon to be here and Christmas on the it's way; It's difficult to celebrate, since my love has gone away. Forgive me Lord, for I am weak, and I wish to be strong, Please take this sadness from my heart; replace it with a song.

Oh Lord, help me remember, You, are only a prayer away, And when I keep my faith in you, I know I'll be okay. So as the holidays approach..to my loved one I express, Not a day on earth goes by, that I fail to think of "us"

And now I must be thankful, for God, I love you so Just knowing you are there for me, so much to you I owe. Now in the quiet of the night, the snow falls from above, As I look into the Heavens, I still miss my precious love.

Tonight I light a candle, for the one I miss so much; Knowing I can never feel, that tender loving touch. But when I leave this world, and join my love again, I know in my heart, in God's hands he'll remain.

hey uncle bruce i just want to tell u thinks for helping me and my babbys get this houes i ask u to help and u did i love u so much well i have to go get jay bad ass so i well talke to u letter we miss u so much and think u

hey we all miss u so much i dont think any body can miss or love u like jo jo and the boys ya can rember when u whould go and play pool with eveybody men u loved playing pool shane mised playing pool with u ya when we whould go out to the bar and play pool it make me think of u and we all whould started talking about when u played pool and how u kicked evey bodys ass in pool but ya we all thing about u evet day we all love u

Cameron as all of the kids act like Bruce, being silly and funny and trying to always make everyone around them laugh. I love that about my kids and I loved that about Bruce, and he loved the same quality in me. We were always laughing and joking around and could never go more than a few minutes without lauging.

I took Cameron bowling and he was out there on the alley acting silly and yelling at his cousin Lou (GO LOU) in this funny voice and trying to make her mess up so he could win.

Well about that time "Sweet Home Alabama" came on in the bowling alley, and Cameron had remembered watching "ConAir" where the criminals take over the airplane and this gay guy had his shirt tied up around his chest and was dancing around the plane to that song. It was so funny, well Cameron tied his shirt up and started dancing around the bowling alley, needless to say EVERYONE in the whole place stopped and started watching him and they were cracking up laughing. He just kept on dancing thru the whole song.

I still start laughing about that everytime I hear that song. I just picture Cameron dancing around with his shirt tied up.

I remember all the times me and Bruce used to go to the park and walk around or just jump in the car and go for a ride. We would just be in the car for hours driving every where, and looking at anything we thought was of interest to us.

Bruce has had so many jobs and was a very well rounded person as far as knowing how to do different kinds of jobs, but driving was his favorite. He used to drive a truck for a friend of his families to deliver worms to the hatcherys, in Ohio and Wisconsin. I went with him and had so much fun. He would drive and I would read the maps or directions.

A few years before he died he was driving a tow truck and would call me at work so he could get directions if he didn't know if he was going the right way or not. If he had a long way to drive he would call me and talk so he wouldn't be bored, or if he was getting sleepy he would call and talk to me so he wouln't fall asleep.

There are so many memories, we had alot of years together, and I know it will take a very long time to get them put up.

As I sit here writing this there is a song that just came on the radio "ONE MORE DAY" by LONESTAR. This song makes me think about Bruce and then I start crying.

This is the things that make me happy, it's like maybe he had a hand in this song coming on the radio, to show me he is still here standing beside me.

I WISH FOR ONE MORE DAY WITH YOU , EVERY SINGLE DAY I AM WITHOUT YOU.

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

October 8, 2007


Today would have been Bruce's 37th Birthday......I miss him so much and I wish this was all a dream.....just as I have so many times before......but it never helps....it hasn't helped the last 2 years......

I went to the cemetary and left balloons and wished him a Heavenly Birthday, and I left a momento of his favorite thing (9 ball)..... 

August 5, 2007

This is one of the worse days of the year for me.. I am so happy that I don't have to work today....I would probably be a big ole mess.

I hate it when this day is getting near, I can feel myself getting edgy and irritable and try to control it, but I feel sorry for anyone around me at this tiem of year, if they make me mad it ain't a pretty site.

4th of July......WOW another holiday rolling around......

I one time we drove close to downtown to see the fireworks, we got as close as we could to see them without getting out of the car and getting stuck in traffic.

These big old dirty looking guys pulled up beside us in an old beat up truck, and there was a couple of guys in the back and they kept looking at us and saying stuff to each other, finally one of them looked at me and said "Don't you remember Pearl Harbor? " I wasn't thinking and I just looked at them and said O.K. whatever, and gave them a funny look.

I thought about what they said after we pulled away and realized they were talking about when Pearl Harbor got bombed by the Japanese and I had to laugh at my self, because I then realized I probably pissed them off by just looking at them like they were stupid and I had no idea what they were talking about.  

Bruce laughed and said they probably wanted to rip my head off, because you laughed at them.

All the holidays passing by and Bruce is not here to celebrate with us.

 

Bruce loved it when holidays came around, he loved spending time with family and friends, and did not need  holidays to call up everyone and say come over we are having a cook out.

We used to have a cook out or cook in every single weekend. It was always so much fun having everyone over.

Weather we were playing cards and having a couple of drinks, cooking, or just hanging out talking and laughing at the stupid things the kids or us was doing.

Those are the times that I miss the most.

Another Valentines day without Bruce.....

I used to love Valentines Day, even if I would tell Bruce not to get me anything, he always managed to get something that would be just right for what ever occasion was at hand. He was such a sweet person, and always showed me that he loved me.

I will never foget all the times he surprised me with stuff out of the blue (usually jewelry)  Sometimes he would bring flowers, but I used to tell him that flowers were very beautiful, but I don't like to get cut flowers because they just dye in a few days and it is a waste of money. So not very often did he buy me cut flowers.

Today i spent New Years without Bruce...it was very depressing....We would always try to be with each other at the strike of midnight, just so we knew we were starting the new year with each other.

Holidays never get any easier, you just find better ways of dealing with the loss. Now when the holidays come around I try to decorate Bruce's grave and make it look good. Z

I ALWAYS TOLD BRUCE THAT I DID NOT KNOW HOW I WOULD LIVE IF ANYTHING EVER HAPPENED, AND WE WERE NOT TOGETHER. HE WOULD LAUGH AND SAY OH YOU WOULD BE SO HAPPY IF WE BROKE UP, BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY STUBBORN ASS ANY MORE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM BEING GONE. I ALWAYS KNEW THAT WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. AFTER ALL THE PROBLEMS AND ARGUMENTS WE HAD AND STAYED TOGETHER FOR SO MANY YEARS.

I KNEW WE WERE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.

 

IT AMAZES ME HOW MUCH THESE KIDS LOOK LIKE BRUCE THE OLDER THAT THEY GET.

CAMERON WAS OPENING UP A PRESENT ON CHRISTMAS AND HE WAS LOOKING DOWN AT WHAT HE WAS OPENING, AND LOOKED UP TO SAY THANK YOU.  HE HAD THIS SMILE ON HIS FACE THAT REMINDED ME SO MUCH OF BRUCE,  I SAW THAT SMILE EVERYDAY FOR 17 YEARS, AND I WAS SO SHOCKED THAT I JUST STARRED AT HIM FOR A MINUTE AND HE SAID WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, I STARTED CRYING AND THEY REALLY THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG THEN AND I HAD TO TELL THEM I WAS O.K., BUT CAMERON JUST LOOKED EXACTLY LIKE BRUCE AT THAT MOMENT, AND I JUST REALLY MISSED HIM, AND WISHED HE COULD HAVE BEEN HERE TO SEE WHAT BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN THEY WERE.

THEY THINK THAT YOU ARE CRAZY WHEN THINGS LIKE THAT HAPPEN, AND WONDER WHY YOU ARE CRYING, BUT I THINK THEY UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I STILL MISS THEIR DAD.

" TILL DEATH DO US PART"

TILL DEATH DO US PART I WILL HOLD YOU.

TILL DEATH DO US PART I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU.

TILL DEATH DO US PART I WILL PROTECT YOU.

TILL DEATH DO US PART I WILL LOVE YOU.

TILL DEATH DO US PART, WHAT DOES THAT ACTUALLY MEAN ?

IS IT ABOUT BEING TOGETHER, UNTIL WE DIE ?

TILL DEATH DO US PART I SHALL CARRY YOU.

TILL DEATH DO US PART I SHALL CARE FOR YOU.

TILL DEATH DO US PART I SHALL BE WITH YOU.

TILL DEATH DO US PART I SHALL LOVE YOU.

TILL DEATH DO US PART, WILL NOT BE THE END OF MY LOVE

FOR AS LONG AS I EXIST IN BODY AND SOUL

MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL CARRY ON.

BY: CURTIS GRIFFTHS